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FEBRUARY 2004
In a few days, I will be returning to France to spend several weeks touring lazily through Provence and then kicking up my heels in Paris to celebrate my 30th birthday. Two years ago these two things - taking several weeks off and turning 30 - would have scared me to death. Now, I'm celebrating both.When I first began life as a writer I literally worked twenty-four seven. Not because I had so much work to do but I was afraid if I stopped thinking, breathing or doing something about writing, I wouldn't be a writer anymore. As my career progressed and I took on other tasks such as painting and designing, I worked even more. Holidays? I had fewer on my own than I ever did during my corporate days.
Also, during this time I started to have my first thoughts of turning 30. Thoughts such as, "I should have it all done by then. I should be somehwhere by then. I should have it all figured out by then." I had never had these thoughts before but the closer I got, the more pressure I felt.
Then I realised two things. As a creative person, it's not a job, it's a lifestyle and not something I'll retire from or finish. I'll be writing, creating and painting until I can no longer breathe. There is no resting point, no top of the hill to yell, "I DID IT ALL" from. There is no goal I have to reach by some date. There's just living as a creative person.
The other thought was that if I don't learn to become comfortable with taking time off, the living part is going to be a heck of a lot harder to do. I had to learn that by taking a week off, my creativity wouldn't vanish, people wouldn't forget about me and life would still go on. There's no reason to rush through my life, trying to get it all done by some date to prove something. Tomorrow will come regardless, the trick is to not worry about it and enjoy today. Besides, if I finished everything I wanted to do by the end of this week, what would I do with myself for the next 30 years?
So now I'm preparing to take the rest of February off (except for a speaking engagement in Dallas at the end of this month, which I combined with a min-vacation!) to unwind, relax and become inspired since my mind is now calm enough to accept new ideas. I've learned to just go with the flow; accept a heavy workload when it's there and enjoy it when it's not. Because everything happens when it should and that's never all at once.
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