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NOVEMBER 2003
On our Another Girl at Play discussion mailing list, I've been noticing people apologising for their opinions or successes. Actually, I should say I have noticed a lot of women doing this.The women on the list always offer fantastic advice, bits of wisdom or new ideas yet some always have to preface their words with phrases such as, "Well, I am tired so I could be wrong" or "I just started so I don't know" or "I haven't had a cup of coffee yet so ignore me!"
Not one of these women ever said anything wrong, hurtful or inappropriate yet, for each opinion they had, they had an excuse for having it. In fact, the women on the mailing list always shared information that was more than needed and wonderful; the wisdom and usefulness in this group of women was overwhelming. It was something that needed to be claimed, and not apologised for.
Whenever I read Emira and Lauren's profile on Another Girl at Play, the same line always sticks out for me: Don't undersell yourself. I believe in this statement because I believe every woman has something to offer, and instead of apologising for it, we should just accept it.
It can be hard to do this as women sometimes worry that being assertive means being aggressive and that can be seen as a negative. However, having an opinion without apologising doesn't mean you're snippety or full on yourself; it just means you have an opinion and most likely, one you've earned.
I sent a message to the list that expressed the above (without apology!) and offered that they no longer be afraid of their opinion or knowledge. That if someone has an opinion or idea and shares it with the list (or anyone else), that they try not to apologise for it or make an excuse because their words have always been amazing and something to be proud of.
Besides, if we don't believe in what we say and what we have to offer, how will someone else?
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