Another Girl at Play - Women Artists Making Creative Dreams Real

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OCTOBER 2003

When I first decided I wanted to write for a living, it was on a ten-hour plane flight from London to Seattle. Usually on this flight I would sleep but this trip I did nothing but think about how, when I got home, I was going to tell everyone I was going to be a writer.

However, when I got home, I didn't tell anyone my dream. In fact, it took several more months to work up the courage to admit to others what my dream was.

After working as a writer for a year, I discovered I wanted to do more; I wanted to paint, do photography and work on movies. Secretly I did these things. I never told a soul these other dreams because I was afraid people would say, "You're a writer not an artist!" or that if something didn't work people would say, "See how silly you were for having that dream!" Even though I felt I needed support and wanted to be proud of my dreams, I believed it was just easier just not to tell.

Talking with people about their dreams, I realise that this is a common practice; to have a dream but to hardly ever share it. It's as though if we don't admit something to others, we don't have to worry about making it real or failing at it. We think being silent about our passions is the easy way out when in fact, it's the hardest because of it's always there, wanting to be told, wanting to be encouraged.

Last March, I learned how sharing a dream makes it easier to manifest.

I had been wanting to turn the Another Girl at Play web site into a book for a long time but kept quiet about it as I focused on other books and writing projects. I thought if I told people there would be this expectation that it would succeed and if it didn't, I'd feel foolish. I also thought by not talking about it that if I became too afraid to actually work on it no one would know.

However, an agent contacted me last year about it. I made a proposal and sent it to her, still very afraid and unsure. I wanted to ask for advice about the proposal and the agent but again, fear kept me from doing so. I didn't want to share something I wasn't sure of.

The agent gave me feedback that I disagreed with at the time. Good thing I didn't tell anyone, I thought. No one will know that this book didn't work! However, a few months later her thoughts began to sink in and I had also changed my perspective and ideas. I was ready to make another attempt but wasn't sure how. I knew I needed some encouragement to continue but was too afraid to ask for support. Asking meant I would have to follow through and that scared me because potentially, nothing could happen again and where would that leave me and my supporters? I was also afraid that if I shared an idea that I was excited about, that my excitement could turn to doubt just by one person saying, "I don't like that" and then I would feel wrong about what I secreatly wanted.

Part of sharing your dream at first is knowing who to share it with and during our trip to Austin Texas, I decided to share my new dream with Andrea Scher since we were on a trip because of the Another Girl at Play web site. I felt if someone would give me encouragement about the book, she would.

Nervously I told her about my idea and she enthusiastically gave me support and encouragement back. Releasing my new dream out into the world and having someone else hear it (even if it was just Andrea!), made such a difference. As soon as we began to talk about it the book felt more real - it even felt possible. Our conversation turned into a brainstorming session that wouldn't have happened if I kept my idea to myself. Being brave paid off, it usually does.

I sent my new proposal and ideas back to that same agent and she liked what I had done. We talked about the books purpose and some more ideas for it and again, talking helped me to create even more. Now I'm in the midst of making adjustments and additions that wouldn't have happened if I didn't admit the dream.

Julie Valentine sent out an email tonight which inspired this newsletter. Her email said:

I'd like to request that you participate as my Team of Miracle Magicians and as such I want to be able to tell you what's happening from behind the scenes and request assistance in specific areas. But most of all I want you to hold the space of possibility. I have learned the power of manifesting over the last few years and I know that the most powerful way to manifest, is to clearly identify what you want and share it with people. I've shared this with a few people on this list already and now I'm sharing it with you.

She went on to list her very specific dreams and goals; some were personal, some were fun and some were serious business. They were all specific with unknown outcomes but she shared them and in doing so, I believe she took the first step in making them all possible.

I told her how I loved what she said and that I am going to be braver about sharing my dreams and how I had been afraid for so long because they might not work out.

Julie offered this advice to me:

If you tell people what you're working on and you don't complete on it, that's ok. People change their minds and you can change yours. Stuff doesn't work out, that's OK too. Sometimes the not working out is a sign that says "not now, later and better." It's the journey that matters. Sometimes on the way to something else you find something more. That's the real magic."

She's right. A dream is wonderful but the magic is in the journey, no matter what the outcome.

I offer this newsletter to you in hopes that a dream that is secretly tucked away within you will be released somehow after reading this. That any fear, shame or worry you have about sharing it will go away. That you will be able to email it to a friend (or seven!), send it on a postcard somewhere, shout it out to whomever is standing the street, call up your mum and dish away. Don't be afraid of what you want. If you say it, claim it and share it, the chances of it becoming real are so much more because you can't expect to see results if you do nothing. And sharing really is something