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SEPTEMBER 2003
There comes a point for every artist when they question if art is really what they should be doing. This happened to our guest writer, Melissa A. Robinson, who shares her journey that I'm sure many of you can relate to, whether art is your full-time job or not.Cheers,
Alex
By Melissa A Robinson
I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. Honestly. I feel like I won the lottery. And all I did was make a choice, a decision. After 32 years of behaving intelligently, I decided that my rational mind was too smart for my own good and I replaced knowledge with faith. I decided that I AM an artist, that I AM divine (as are you), and that I AM successful. I decided to be happy. I decided to live the truth. I decided to believe in goodness and love.
Late last fall, I took a brief sabbatical from art and accepted a menial job to pay the rent. After trying so hard for so long to make a living from my art and finding myself perpetually exhausted and penniless with enormous debts and too little peace of mind, I thought a "regular" job would be a welcome respite. And it was! For a while. I went to work in the morning and came home in the evening and "hung out" and watched movies and did "normal" things. And I made no art at all. I recharged.
Eventually, the art built up inside me to the point where once again (I had been at this place many, many times) I had to choose between a job and my calling. When I gave notice at that job, I did so with no savings whatsoever, no one I could borrow from, no reason to believe that I would be okay. Except that I KNEW I would be okay. I just knew it. I knew that if I did all that was asked of me, I would be cared for. This was different than all of the other times I had quit jobs and HOPED I could follow my dreams. This time I KNEW I could and would make a living from my artwork.
What had changed? Before, some small part of me was always in it for the benefits - money, status, ego strokes, setting my own schedule, whatever. If/when those benefits lagged, I lagged, too. This time, I had touched a deeper part of myself and connected with some sort of higher goodness. This time I was committed to making art because I felt pure hope and a desire to share a peaceful happy moment with the world. Regardless of how my efforts would be received. I did not and do not worry about the results now. Only serving a purpose. Creating the images that come my way.
While I still stumble occasionally and feel a little sorry for myself if my favorite pieces attract little attention in the marketplace, more often then not I wake up each day filled with a feeling of well being and a strong sense of divine goodwill. At a time when the world seems particularly lost and vulnerable, I feel called upon to balance the negative newscasts with positive reminders of other paths and other choices. I can no longer afford to waste time hating myself or others. I have no energy now for fear or confusion, only joy.
Since I left that job on June 6th, I have created over SEVENTY original works of art, I have met so many very nice people, AND I have paid my rent and my utilities. The money has found me. I am so grateful for all of you Angels out there who help make my work possible. You mean the world to me.
My work as I understand it is creating Hope. I am charged with showing myself and others that faith in God, The Great Spirit, Buddha, Allah, yourself, humanity, Mother Nature, whatever, is so powerful that you can call to you anything you like simply by believing that you are worthy of that goodness.
I have never in my life felt so satisfied. So certain of my place in the world. So at peace with the reality of life and death and all the rest, too. My life finally makes sense.
This letter is my way of expressing my gratitude to the Universe for allowing me to have so much fun! It is also my invitation to you. Join me! Create! Give whatever you feel called to give and believe that you are divinely inspired. Your own personal message matters! We need to hear your stories.
Thank you again to all of you wonderful inspirational art supporters out there.
Have a lovely, quiet fall,
Melissa
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